Bush Bests His Own Fundraising Record

"Bush, speaking to 1,700 supporters who had paid $3,000 each for a cold sandwich and a 28-minute speech, condemned the "needless, partisan bickering that dominates the Washington, D.C., landscape and the zero-sum politics of Washington."

… but, but… he's a man of the people! I didn't know people could afford $3,000 lunches!

Sidenote: the cause of the majority of the "partisan" bickering? You guessed it. Him and his party. This is the most radical and radically partisan president we've had since the Whig years. Too bad he's probably too stupid to be disingenuous or else he'd qualify for the crafty evil crown.

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