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Posted in Evil, Yay! by Chris at 23:17
Ironic, no? That at least some of the uber-repressed moralistic gay- and atheist-banning motherfuckers are pedophiles, just like all of the other moralistic hypocrites running around out there.
Mmm… schadenfreude
Posted in HFS!, Humor by Chris at 23:00
Suburban Guerrilla links to a tape from some woman in California who got the wrong cheeseburger…
so she called 911.
No, I am not making this up.
911: Then I suggest you get your money back and go somewhere else. This, this is not a criminal issue. We can’t go out there and make them make you a cheeseburger the way you want it.
CALLER: *stunned* Well….that is, that, you’re supposed to be here to protect me.
911: Well what are we protecting you from, a wrong cheeseburger?
Gee, you think the caller dials 911 frequently? Sure feels like it to me. This has all the marks of a recidivist 911er… REpeeaat OH-fender.
UPDATE (for the speaker-less): transcript
Posted in Evil, Grrr... by Chris at 11:53
I see no other way to read this press release.
Mrs. Schiavo’s death is a moral poverty and a legal tragedy. This loss happened because our legal system did not protect the people who need protection most, and that will change. The time will come for the men responsible for this to answer for their behavior, but not today. Today we grieve, we pray, and we hope to God this fate never befalls another. Our thoughts and prayers are with the Schindlers and with Terri Schiavo’s friends in this time of deep sorrow.
Isn’t that a terrorist threat punishable by detainment without right to counsel under the “PATRIOT” act?
UPDATE: Yes, yes it is. 18 U.S.C. §115 (a)(1)(B)
Posted in Law by Chris at 10:38
All 117 people named can thank my ass for pointing the finger at them. If I had recognized my godlike powers earlier I would have been far more capricious and arbitrary.
Posted in R.I.P. by Chris at 23:12
You know, I’ve been so busy I totally missed the passing of Johnnie Cochran.
Farewell, Johnnie. You were a hell of an attorney.
Posted in Eye Rollers by chartoo at 12:39
According to recent figures, about a million Britons were in hospital last year for all sorts of accidents — from melting pyjamas to brushes with alligators.
If melting pyjamas are not bizarre enough for you, there’s a whole lot of other stuff that formed a part of the statistics of accidents and emergency admissions revealed by the Department of Health.
Natural hazards followed closely in claiming their share of accident admissions with 54 lightning struck people, 37 injured due to “volcanic eruption”, 25 needing treatment for “catacylsmic storms”, 12 suffered from avalanches and seven were victims of earthquakes.
Erm, there were a further 107 who were exposed to “unspecified forces of nature“.
Four people suffered exposure to noise, four to vibration and 40 came into contact with a high-pressure jet. Stray cigarettes and faulty electric blankets were supposed to be the cause of 22 incidents involving the “ignition or melting of nightwear”.
I suppose it’s not funny if it happens to you, though the thought of melting pyjamas, well, you get the idea….
I’d like to know what an unspecified force of nature is though?
Guess that’s like when you’re walking down the street as a seagull flying above you drops a load of guano on your head, no?
…
Posted in Yay! by chartoo at 20:34
The Campaign for America’s Future, backed by labor and other liberal leaders, plans to announce today that DeLay will be featured in television ads in at least four Republican House districts. The group said it is buying a 30-second ad in DeLay’s suburban Houston district that shows a man wearing cufflinks and a Rolex watch and washing his hands.
“Tom DeLay: He’d like to wash his hands of corruption,” the announcer says before recounting charges against the majority leader. “Tom DeLay can’t wash his hands of corruption,” the ad concludes. “But Congress can certainly wash its hands of Tom DeLay.”
The group also plans ads designed to put pressure on Republicans who face tough races to “stand with DeLay or decency.”
The announcement will come two days after the conservative editorial page of the Wall Street Journal said: “The Beltway wisdom is right. Mr. DeLay does have odor issues. Increasingly, he smells just like the Beltway itself.”
Delay can’t be run out of Washington soon enough as far as I’m concerned!
Posted in Sex by Chris at 13:46
Heels are your first purchase. Minimum height is 3 inches- anything shorter and your gut will stick out and your legs will look like tree trunks.
Posted in Freedom by Chris at 10:57
During the bamboozlepalooza tour (Bush faux “save SS” plan), which is funded by our tax dollars, which are public events… the secret service is removing people. People who have done nothing wrong. People who aren’t even being disruptive.
One guy wore a Democratic t-shirt. Another group had a “No blood for oil” bumper sticker on their car.
This, my peoples, is what happens in a tyranny.
The three said they had obtained tickets through the office of Rep. Bob Beauprez, R-Colo., had passed through security and were preparing to take their seats when they were approached by what they thought was a Secret Service agent who asked them to leave.
One woman, Karen Bauer, 38, a marketing coordinator from Denver, said Monday the agent put his hand on her elbow and steered her away from her seat and toward an exit.
“The Secret Service had nothing to do with that,” said Lon Garner, special agent in charge of the Secret Service office in Denver. “We are very sensitive to the First Amendment and general assembly rights as protected by the Constitution.”
Posted in Evil, Eye Rollers, Humor by Chris at 08:23
does it starve, or does it get fat?
List of Schiavo Donors Will Be Sold by Direct-Marketing Firm
The parents of Terri Schiavo have authorized a conservative direct-mailing firm to sell a list of their financial supporters, making it likely that thousands of strangers moved by her plight will receive a steady stream of solicitations from anti-abortion and conservative groups.
“These compassionate pro-lifers donated toward Bob Schindler’s legal battle to keep Terri’s estranged husband from removing the feeding tube from Terri,” says a description of the list on the Web site of the firm, Response Unlimited, which is asking $150 a month for 6,000 names and $500 a month for 4,000 e-mail addresses of people who responded last month to an e-mail plea from Ms. Schiavo’s father. “These individuals are passionate about the way they value human life, adamantly oppose euthanasia and are pro-life in every sense of the word!”
Hahaha! Oh, man. This makes my day. Days, even. Enjoy the junk mail, fools!
Posted in Privacy by Chris at 00:05
A thief has stolen a computer laptop containing personal information about nearly 100,000 University of California at Berkeley alumni, graduate students and past applicants, continuing a recent outbreak of security breakdowns that has illustrated society’s growing vulnerability to identity theft.
Why the fuck was that info on a laptop, anyway? It couldn’t have been a spreadsheet (max rows: 65k, if you’re using Excel), so unless someone is reading a lot of reports and needs them all rightnowthisinstant, there’s no reason for that data to be on something as portable as a laptop. Idiots.
Oh, and if this wasn’t California, the victims never would have been told. Who knows where else the same thing has happened.
Posted in HFS! by Chris at 16:43
Stop Bolton website. Watch the video… why is this man our ambassador to the UN?
Amazing. This is almost like putting one of the primary architects for the illegal and inhumane invasion of Iraq with no financial experience in charge of the World Bank. But no one would ever do that, now, would they?
Posted in Freedom by Chris at 14:23
Alterman has the details, but here’s the lede:
The United States of America, under the leadership of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, is operating a police state at Guantanamo Bay and elsewhere in military and secret prisons throughout the world, where innocent people are being jailed, tortured and sometimes murdered without concern for their guilt or innocence. This is not empty, anti-American rhetoric, it is verifiable truth, and aside from the moral revulsion it causes in anyone who claims to be interested in such matters, it also undermines any claims we might have to the moral leadership of the world community. Do I exaggerate? I think not. Does anyone care? You can bet the rest of the world does.
Posted in Humor by Chris at 11:45
The Weekly World News weighs in with “news” that Dick Cheney was a nude model in college.
Posted in News by Chris at 09:23
TV reporter earned money from state…
Mike Vasilinda, a 30-year veteran of the Tallahassee press corps, does public relations work and provides film editing services to more than a dozen state agencies.
His Tallahassee company, Mike Vasilinda Productions Inc., has earned more than $100,000 over the past four years through contracts with Gov. Jeb Bush’s office, the Secretary of State, the Department of Education and other government entities that are routinely part of Vasilinda’s stories.
Vasilinda also was paid to work on campaign ads for at least one politician and to create a promotional movie for Leon County. One of his biggest state contracts was a 1996 deal that paid nearly $900,000 to air the weekly drawing for the Florida Lottery.
