CMoore.com

It’s the year of the metal tiger (so, gold or white tiger). Make sure you eat some long noodles today.

Also, watch this:

I love how they don’t actually hide any of the social extortion/negotiation that goes along. Kids behave because if they don’t, no red envelope for you, you little shits. And the adults hang around long enough until they drink enough to stand each other.

Look for the phrase “Gan Bei” (= “bottom’s up”). Repeatedly.

… oh yeah. And happy Valentine’s Day too.

I Don’t Even Want To Be Alive Anymore

By Rush Limbaugh

I know there are a lot of people out there who are upset about some of the things I’ve been saying on my radio program lately. My comments about the situation in Haiti have hurt and angered many Americans who genuinely care about the plight of the Haitian people, and that hurt and anger will likely never go away. Many of you are probably wondering, “What would compel a human being to say things like that?” Well, here’s your answer: I am a very bad person. And, to tell you the truth, I don’t really want to be alive anymore.
…

The irony is that, even if I did die, the hell I would surely be sent to could not possibly be any worse than the bottomless pool of excrement I already paddle around in like some demented, shit-covered walrus. In fact, every time I hear my voice coming through the headphones I nearly gag, and I think, “What the fuck am I doing?” Why would I say that Michael J. Fox is faking his Parkinson’s symptoms? Why would I find it funny to play a song called “Barack the Magic Negro”? Why would I tell people not to give aid to Haiti?

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Good times

Autotune the News

heh

“It’s like twitter. Except we charge people to use it.”

From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Monday 16 November 2009 2.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Logo Design

Hello David,

I would like to catch up as I am working on a really exciting project at the moment and need a logo designed. Basically something representing peer to peer networking. I have to have something to show prospective clients this week so would you be able to pull something together in the next few days? I will also need a couple of pie charts done for a 1 page website. If deal goes ahead there will be some good money in it for you.

Simon

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 16 November 2009 3.52pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Logo Design

Dear Simon,

Disregarding the fact that you have still not paid me for work I completed earlier this year despite several assertions that you would do so, I would be delighted to spend my free time creating logos and pie charts for you based on further vague promises of future possible payment. Please find attached pie chart as requested and let me know of any changes required.

Regards, David.

It goes on from there.

That reminds me of the interactions I used to have back in the day (I was not the “entrepreneur” side of the equation. Good times, good times. Now I have to be all professional and important-like instead of driving circles of hilariously acerbic wit[fn1] around imbeciles who don’t have a fucking clue and/or are a CEO.

… unfortunately, he doesn’t offer an RSS feed. Cocksucker.

I should also mention that I’ve mentioned him before for one of the funniest email strings ever.

FN1. my perspective, but I assure you it is accurate. Q.E.D.

Laptop Steering Wheel Desk.

Make sure to check out the customer-submitted pictures.

Mesmerizing…

This is actually from a PBS series, believe it or not. Work it, girl!

Hee

I haven’t been a fan of Slate since the pre-WaPo days, but this biography of that raving sociopathic waste known as Alissa Rosenbaum/Ayn Rand is quite good. In case you were wondering, the article is much fairer than the adjectives in my previous sentence… but comes to largely the same conclusion (though it does not address my clinical diagnosis of “sociopath”).

I will never understand why Rand is so popular among the far right and “libertarians” of this country. Let me rephrase – I can understand why the philosophy of utter narcissism may be appealing, but am unable to understand how anyone could devote themselves to it. Add in that her writing is sub-Twilight/Dan Brown-level bad, the dialogue wooden and worse than something from the Cultural Revolution, and that at some point, the reader must come into contact with another human being and I just don’t see its appeal.

Check that, Rand nails the mental makeup of the current American right:

Her heroes are a cocktail of extreme self-love and extreme self-pity: They insist they need no one, yet they spend all their time fuming that the masses don’t bow down before their manifest superiority.

Spot on.

Add in that the narcissism of Wall Street (who are obviously the producers and not the lice, right Mr. Greenspan) and I can see this appealing to an insular little group of aristocrats… but how on earth did our financial policy become beholden to this group of retards?

I encourage all Objectivists to go Galt. Immediately. And/or talk to a girl. I’m not sure which will happen first.

Words cannot encompass just how much wrong is contained in this 7 minute video. Trust me, there are oodles. And oodles. And then more. At some point, it goes around the bend from cover-your-eyes all the way back to fantastic … but then it goes back to horrible.

Wow. Just … wow.

Enjoy the awesomeness

(the others aren’t nearly so good)

This video cracks me up. Music’s awesome too.

Update: cracks me up… disturbs others. Overly Kubrick, I guess, but what got me was the bridge with the interlude to the childhood friendship. C’mon, genius! Way less Clockwork Orange that way. Anyhoo, Here’s the fine young lads being all young and brit-like:

(note, not the studio cut)

Try not to be slightly disturbed that Alex Turner (lead singer) looks a lot like Martin Freeman (Tim from the British Office).

Youmeme! You’re going to like his nuts