TLC’s retooled ‘Kate Plus Eight’ is pulling out all the stops for an upcoming episode — including a big cameo by former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, a source tells In Touch magazine. And with Palin’s upcoming docu-reality TV show set to run on the same network, it’s potentially a great opportunity for cross-promotion.

Was hoping this was a parody … but it’s not. Ahhhh, Republicans and their authoritarian gun-n-daddy fetishes.

Apple’s CEO, Steve Jobs, finally unveiled the Apple iPad during an event today. The name of the new tablet was revealed only a few days ago, and aims to separate itself from tablet computers such as Microsoft’s new Slate PC category. Leaks have prepared us all for an “iPhone on steroids” and we recently estimated the release date to be April 2010. The “iPhone on steroids” has turned out to be a good description of the new Apple iPad, and the release date will indeed be April 2010.

Presumably with the different versions, there will be a mini and a maxi iPad. With any luck, the product will have … wait for it … wings.

bada boom!

Stupid name for a tweener product (doesn’t do what your laptop does, barely does more than the iPhone and still can’t make calls, too expensive, and yet another gadget to carry … yeah, not seeing the utility of this one).

I will never understand why Rand is so popular among the far right and “libertarians” of this country. Let me rephrase – I can understand why the philosophy of utter narcissism may be appealing, but am unable to understand how anyone could devote themselves to it. Add in that her writing is sub-Twilight/Dan Brown-level bad, the dialogue wooden and worse than something from the Cultural Revolution, and that at some point, the reader must come into contact with another human being and I just don’t see its appeal.

Check that, Rand nails the mental makeup of the current American right:

Her heroes are a cocktail of extreme self-love and extreme self-pity: They insist they need no one, yet they spend all their time fuming that the masses don’t bow down before their manifest superiority.

Spot on.

Add in that the narcissism of Wall Street (who are obviously the producers and not the lice, right Mr. Greenspan) and I can see this appealing to an insular little group of aristocrats… but how on earth did our financial policy become beholden to this group of retards?

I encourage all Objectivists to go Galt. Immediately. And/or talk to a girl. I’m not sure which will happen first.

Words cannot encompass just how much wrong is contained in this 7 minute video. Trust me, there are oodles. And oodles. And then more. At some point, it goes around the bend from cover-your-eyes all the way back to fantastic … but then it goes back to horrible.

Wow. Just … wow.

“This is not a situation where any anti-doping rule was violated, but we decided to send a strong message to Michael because he disappointed so many people, particularly the hundreds of thousands of USA Swimming member kids who look up to him as a role model and a hero,” the federation said in a statement.

Light it up, Mikey. You’re not doing anyone any harm and if Aquaman doesn’t deserve some down time relaxation, I don’t know who does.

Oh, and the federation can blow it out of their sanctimonious pie holes. Yeah, yeah, it’s illegal to smoke, but so are u-turns in many states and I don’t see people losing sponsorship deals or having to deal with an unending stream of Sistah Toldjyahs for it.

And to the douchebag who took the private photo and distributed it: you are a douchebag. Keep this shit private and no one is harmed. Idiot.

Audiences booed and clapped as the singer, 28, opened for Sara Evans on Saturday at the Country Thunder USA festival in Randall, Wisconsin.

“I don’t know what your perception is of Jessica Simpson or what tabloid you buy, but I just want you to know that I’m just a girl from Texas,” Simpson told the crowd. “I’m just like you. I’m doing what I love and dating a boy.“

J. Simp, honey, it’s not the singing they were booing. You have to know your audience, and cowboys like to keep that shit on the downlow, know what I’m sayin?

Holy crap that’s awesome. Retarded, but AWWWWWEsome!

You’re listening to Kxxx, your home for the best in soft rock.

… Coming up: Amy Grant and Wilson Phillips!

Me: you keep using that word. I do no think it think what you think it mean.

Woohoo! I’m famous, bitches! Bow before me, for I am dangerous!

Oh, and the TSA and Bush administration can lick my sweaty nutsac. I’ve got your freedom of speech right here.

Anyway, she’s very young. And she put up a vlog called “Boy Problems…”, which is about her friend, a boy, who likes her in that way, but she hadn’t considered that possibility:

Anyway, uber mundane. And an act, I’m sure. Happens every day, possibly multiple times per person (particularly for women who put themselves in such positions). Here’s the genius part, though: another guy does vlogs reviewing other vlogs, and he did a review of the Boy Problems one:

The 1:25 – 2:45 segment is the key bit. Good ending too. The Renetto guy, now him I find compelling.

Update: been watching more Renetto. I think I’m going to write his name in the next election. One more original + response after the jump.

(she even shouts out to the woman who posted the first video above)

and now, Renetto…

Summary: a tech dude was at YearlyKos. While there, a truck slammed through his house, and had he been there, both he and his child would have been killed. But they weren’t. Because of YearlyKos. So he said thank you, YK, for everything. Touching story. Give ‘em some PayPal lurve.

Then Harry Hutton (who is one of those natively hilarious types that drive us mere quippers insane with jealousy… yeah, I’m speaking to you too Worker #3116. bitches.) wrote (in reference, ironically):

I am not easily moved to tears, but this post had me crying like a baby. Just think… he could have been… and the little ones are safe?… thank God for that!

Kos once saved my life too. I was reading a post about Senator Joseph Lieberman, and it was so dull that I got up to run my head under a cold tap. Just then this assagai comes flying through the window. Zulus! Fuck! If it hadn’t been for Kos, I could have wound up in a cooking pot. I’ll always be grateful to him for that.

Anyway, so we formed a laager, called for reinforcements and went all Rorke’s Drift on their arses, and it all ended happily with a glorious slaughter of tribesmen. That was the day Boris Johnsons won the Victoria Cross.

Funny! Goddamn funny. I’m still LOL’ing over here. For the record, Hutton is a Brit lefty. There was another comment later, by dsquared … who happens to be a writer for the (lefty) Guardian:

That Daily Kos type is gonna feel pretty fucking stupid when the guy who missed him first time comes back for the second attempt.

Funny! Fun-nay.

Of course, D-Day, in his/her infinite wisdom, sees this and thinks “not funny! They are obviously eliminationist rightwing fascists!” because… drumroll please… mouthbreathing sack-of-hammer-stupid trogolodytes of the rightwing bigotsphere linked to the Hutton post! OMFG! It’s teh nazis! They link to Hutton, therefore Hutton is bad! (You wouldn’t happen to be a member of my State pursuing the same logic v. online “gambling” by any chance, would you?).

Here’s D-Day’s commentary:

If they actually were jokes, I’d lighten up. I’d like to see in human history the comedy routine that consists of “I don’t like you, I should murder you, ha!!” Jonathan Swift comes the closest, I guess, but there is no satire in this joke, no greater point made that the logical consequence of policies against the Irish would be for the poor to eat their own children. Just “wouldn’t it be funny if our enemies were dead?”

Furthermore, it’s directed at ct, who’s an enemy, apparently, merely by ASSOCIATING with those seen as the enemy. He’s a tech guy whose house got trashed by a drunk driver. The joke says he deserved it, and wishes for “better luck next time.”

This is not a joke. This is the rising tide of eliminationist language that I’ve seen for a lot of years on the right. It starts as chuckles among unformed or unaware or unprocessed minds, and can quickly metastasize into action. In a metaphorical sense it already has, with the cutthroat way Republicans do business in the political arena. Then it turns into jokes that reflect some wishful rage with a wink and a nod. From there it’s just a hop and a skip and a jump to calling Democrats “cockroaches” that need to be “stamped out.” And then you’ve got Radio television libre des mille collines, advising conservatives to “leave none to tell the story.”

Got it? Jokes from an insane, but funny, weirdo followed by an ironic comment by a lefty == Republicans are coming to eat our babies!

Get ahold of yourself. Also, go get laid or something. You’re embarassing the rest of us lefties. Much like the person who constantly proclaims their hipness, anyone who says they crack jokes all the time and therefore knows from funny… obviously has no sense of humor. Your self-induced cyclone of moral outrage is remarkable both for its tone deafness and its complete lack of self awareness. Your ragegasm and addiction to outrage rivals Jesse Michelle Magalangadingdong Malkin on his good days.

Fergawdssake, your bringer of the righty apocalypse is someone who wrote the following post:

JENNIFER LOPEZ HAS BEEN SHOT!
Jennifer Lopez, the popular entertainer, has been shot.

UPDATE!
Jennifer Lopez has NOT been shot, not even slightly. I was confusing her with President McKinley. I apologize for any distress this caused.

That’s Hutton in a nutshell, right there. Python too, while we’re at it. Say it with me, people – fun-nay.

Bluebiker makes a valiant effort to show D-Day the stupidity false crisis hysteria over the Hutton post is misguided, but D-Day is having none of it.

The misinterpretation that “some crazy guy thinks a convention saved his life” is actually no different than the common frame of the liberal blogosphere as unhinged and loopy. Hutton’s attempt at a joke was doltish, it played into the wrong hands, and I think all would agree you don’t get to manage the response to your own words. Just like I don’t get to manage your response. I can argue it, but you’re going to believe what you want.

I want to see the guy who hasn’t made a bin Laden joke. Go watch The Great Dictator and understand that such mockery is a key part of any country’s strategy to marginalize a villain. What the fuck did ct do to deserve the same treatment?

For the record, I don’t think ct gives two shits about any of this, he’s got enough on his mind. But the point is that eliminationism, a major part of the hard-right conservative movement, must be outed at every opportunity. A point you’ve yet to address. But honestly, there’s no point in arguing this anymore.

Christ, D-Day, your sense of humor is worse than the feminists. At least they’ve got the hot lesbian sex to keep them distracted. What’s your excuse?

D-Day here is just like any of these insecure blowhards who, when confronted with the fact that they are wrong and overreacted, refuse to acknowledge it. Instead they go further and further on a limb clinging desperately to their internal vision of themselves as Right and everyone esle as WrongWrongWrong. D-Day, I’m here to tell you: you made a fool of yourself.

Well, D-Day, add me to the chorus of “haters,” along with this poster. And this poster. And this one. This one too. Oh, and this post as well.

Classy.

In any event he apparently still has a job with the (worthless) DLC and still writes things and some people choose to read and respond to them. I don’t know why, but that’s beside the point. I don’t link to GOP operatives disguised as Vichy Dems, but Greg Sargent is still trying. Apparently, the useless fucktard recently said this:

To their credit, Joe Biden and Joe Lieberman are two additional high-profile Democrats who have put country before partisanship when it comes to foreign policy…And, of course, Joe Lieberman refuses to waver. While many politicians claim not to be guided by polls, Joe truly puts principle first. He is a profile in courage. The scorn of puerile bloggers and assorted lefties should be worn as a badge of honor.

Yes, Lieberman. A profile in courage. As opposed to a self-serving profile in narcissism and pandering. I love how threatened the moose pie is by bloggers, and “lefties”, and actual people. Of course his language is phrased in such a way that any disagreement with him is going to be put in the “partisanship” or “party before country” camp.

Why is it that people who put country before party and were right are deserving of scorn in the moose’s scrotum world, and yet those that put country before party and were absolutely, astoundingly, mindbogglingly wrong (to the cost of tens of thousands of lives and billions of dollars) should be proud? Why is it that those whose “country before partisanship” just happens to coincide with the GOP’s partisanship before country are to be given a pat on the head and called “good boy”? Why is it that standing up to dishonest thugs like BushCo to save our country’s citizens and fortunes partisan?

The DLC is filled with people who think like this. Biden, Lieberman, Hilary. People who think the only way to regain power is to keep losing elections. Apparently, they haven’t worked out step 3 of the equation, yet:

1. Act like a Republican
2. Lose elections
3. ?????
4. Profit!

In any event, the “country before party” is a rhetorical gimmick used solely to ensure that the person employing the gimmick wins whatever argument they are discussing. When 49% of the population favors immediate withdrawal from Iraq, it is, in the moose’s ass’ view, caving in to the fringe lefties and rabid radicals to do so. Actually, I think he calls it “caving to the base,” which, you know, is actually the point of the party in power. But if you disagree with half the country and you want to frame the debate so that you are above the fray, you call it “partisanship” to call for withdrawal. There is no principled opposition to your favored course of action, just people looking to their politics, while you look to the good of the country.

The DLC is increasingly so. I’d like to thank Wittman for helping to speed the day when we no longer pay attention to them and Shrum and Emmanuel no longer get their multimillion dollar paydays for being the world’s biggest losers (literally).

Anyway, the book is The Thrill of the Chaste : Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On. I hear the working title was You’re Going to Hell, Slut!

Finally, a book for single women who, unsatisfied with living a worldly lifestyle, want to give their lives a new and godly direction. Author Dawn Eden, a Jewish-born rock journalist turned salty Christian blog queen, gives these readers the positive and uplifting message that they’ve been wanting to hear-that spiritual healing and a renewed outlook await them. Using her own experiences in the New York City singles jungle, she shows women how they too can go from insecurity to purity, and from forlorn to reborn. She tells women who have been around the block how to find their way home.

Hah! Oh, there are so many awesome things about this book! The self-hatred. The superiority complex. The misogyny. The ignorance. The repression (and furtherance of repression). The submissiveness. The utter bullshit.

I now notice things about the men in my life that I never noticed before, like their thoughtfulness, their love of family, their integrity, even their vulnerability. These are intangible qualities that don’t jump out at you when you’re in a frame of mind where you’re viewing men only as potential dates. Put together, they add up to character. It’s the most important quality to seek in a husband, and the one that’s least discussed in this day and age.

Likewise, when you become chaste, you’ll notice for the first time that women who have sex outside of marriage don’t really appreciate men. You can’t see this when you’re having nonmarital sex, because you don’t realize how much there really is about men to appreciate. You think the mere fact that you’re attracted to them and that they seem to wield such power over you shows you appreciate them for what they really are.

As much as I like to be thought of as a dominant walking cock, I don’t really captures the true me. Well, OK, it does, but not the whole me. I was not aware that the minute my cock is inserted in the woman’s vagina, I become invisible to her… except for the cock part.

When I had nonmarital sex, I became accustomed to seeing myself as a commodity—a varied collection of looks, wit, intellect, and je ne sais quois. I looked for men whose commodities were worth as much as my own.

That’s because you were a groupie, Dawn. Your lack of self-esteem combined with your narcissism led you to seek out others just like you, so you could magnify your neuroses.

That you now choose to blame your feelings of emptiness and worthlessness on sex is your own damn problem. Instead of coming to the conclusion that the massive amounts of ass you were getting left you unfulfilled because it turns out you weren’t looking for physical closeness, you decided that the sex itself was what was making you feel worthless. Also, that raging case of herpes which you totally don’t have. At the very least, don’t project your own neuroses onto the rest of the world because, frankly, we left your sex-negative ignorant asses behind in the 16th century.

Enjoy those revirgin vagina treatments or whatever hackery you’re going to promote next.

Also, as a tip, you might have better luck finding a husband if you didn’t seem so damn desperate. Just trying to help.

Indie film director John Roecker tells TMZ he was walking to his car with a female friend in LA’s trendy Los Feliz neighborhood last Sunday when he was approached by a shirtless man and a tall blonde. “Hey, man, you’re making fun of my religion,” said the stranger angrily.

Roecker quickly recognized the couple as actor Bodhi Elfman and his wife, ‘Dharma and Greg’ star Jenna Elfman. Mr. Elfman’s ire was apparently drawn by Roecker’s self-made t-shirt, which had a picture of Tom Cruise on the front under the caption “Scientology is Gay!” and a ‘Stayin’-Alive’-era John Travolta on the back with the words “Very Gay!” For the record, both Cruise and Travolta have said repeatedly they are not gay.

The shirt:

Here’s the thing, you coddled whiny ass titty baby scientologists (yeah, I’m talking to you too Isaac)… your religion is not special. Though you are pampered at every turn, though you are given accolades, tchotchkes, and are the recipient of constant ass kissing from every person within a 5 mile radius whose livelihood depends on the celebrity culture… you are not special. You are not Marie Antoinette. You are not Goaul’d. You are just another meat puppet sharing this rock, and if you are offended by a t-shirt, or the flavor of your mango chutney, or the fourth button on the arm of the couch… we don’t give a shit. Deal.

I didn’t intend for this to become pop culture blogging day, it’s just the most interesting news I’ve hit all morning.

Unlike, you know, Osama bin Laden.

Anyway, I didn’t feel I had anything to add on the issue that wasn’t already covered by other bloggers. But The Atlantic just published a wonderful article titled The Short, Violent Life of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi that is well worth a look. Even if much of the information is old, it never hurts to repeat the truth when combatting the propaganda.

Of note is not only his background precis:

Everyone I spoke with readily acknowledged that as a teenager al-Zarqawi had been a bully and a thug, a bootlegger and a heavy drinker, and even, allegedly, a pimp in Zarqa’s underworld. He was disruptive, constantly involved in brawls. When he was fifteen (according to his police record, about which I had been briefed in Amman), he participated in a robbery of a relative’s home, during which the relative was killed. Two years later, a year shy of graduation, he had dropped out of school. Then, in 1989, at the age of twenty-three, he traveled to Afghanistan.

What the Jordanians think

“If you want to understand who Zarqawi is,” a former Jordanian intelligence official had told me earlier, “you’ve got to understand the four major turning points in his life: his first trip to Afghanistan; then the prison years [from 1993 to 1999]; then his return to Afghanistan, when he really came into his own; and then Iraq.” He thought for a moment. “And, of course, the creativity of the Americans.”

And, finally, how he was a useful prop for Bush, first as a justification for the illegal, elective war he wanted, then as a bogeyman, and finally as a last, desperate attempt to boost his 33% approval rating (I’m editorializing and rephrasing, of course. Ms. Weaver does not say so directly and in any event it would be outside the scope of the article).

During my time in Jordan, I asked a number of officials what they considered to be the most curious aspect of the relationship between the U.S. and al-Zarqawi, other than the fact that the Bush administration had inflated him.

One of them said, “The six times you could have killed Zarqawi, and you didn’t.”

When Powell addressed the United Nations, he discussed the Ansar al-Islam camp near Khurmal, in northern Kurdistan, which he claimed was producing ricin and where al-Zarqawi was then based. On at least three occasions, between mid-2002 and the invasion of Iraq the following March, the Pentagon presented plans to the White House to destroy the Khurmal camp, according to a report published by TheWall Street Journal in October 2004. The White House either declined or simply ignored the request.

More recently, three times during the past year, the Jordanian intelligence service, which has a close liaison relationship with the CIA, provided the United States with information on al-Zarqawi’s whereabouts—first in Mosul, then in Ramadi. Each time, the Americans arrived too late.

As Wolcott says, the Jordanians were practically tearing their rotator cuffs trying to point out where Zarqawi was, and we would not listen.

So the 3rd season of the Al-Zarqawi Show ended with the protagonist being offed, and all I can wonder is … who’s going to be the star of the new show (just don’t mention Osama!)

An unfortunate email exchange about an incident in which a secretary splashed tomato ketchup on his trousers has been doing the rounds, not only among his colleagues but in London’s legal community.

And it has left the 36-year-old solicitor, who is said to earn well over £100,000, with egg on his face after he demanded £4 to dry clean the trousers.

Two weeks ago, Amir Taheri had an Op-Ed article in the Canadian National Post claiming that the Iranians have a law requiring Jews to wear yellow badges. It turned out to be a complete fabrication and has been the subject of much contempt among bloggers. So Tuesday, Taheri was invited to the White House along with other “experts” to give the president their “honest opinions.” With advice like that, our war in Iran will be a slam-dunk.

1. The dude who goes to the library to look at porn and whack off, AKA The Loser;
2. His dad, who obviously has anger management and likely substance abuse issues, AKA The Raging Asshole;
3. The reporter, who is a condescending prick constantly making references to THE CHILDREN (as in “this computer is only feet away from THE CHILDREN”) as if it is somehow relevant; AKA The Pandering Dickhead.

Anyway, the movie’s pretty cringeworthy. I considered it for humor Friday, but it’s just too sad and it didn’t really strike me as funny. I’ll have to keep looking.

(I would embed it here, but it breaks my site formatting, so until I take the time to fix it, youtube has the movie)

After initially agreeing, Senator Lieberman has declined our invitation to participate in the MoveOn.org Political Action online primary for U.S. Senate in Connecticut.

The phrase ‘whiny little bitch’ comes to mind. In a completely gender-neutral sort of way, of course.

President Bush . . . has a positive job approval in just three of the 50 United States. This according to 50 separate but concurrent statewide public opinion polls conducted by SurveyUSA for its media clients across the country. Only residents of Utah, Wyoming and Idaho view the president favorably.

I’m amazed there are enough morons still around in any state to give him a majority approval anymore. You know, after the massive die-off from eating the bad batch of Goldstein paste.

But since nihhilistic misery deserves company… enjoy the video.

New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves — and to be treated by the health care system — as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon.

Got that? Even if you’re not pregnant, not trying to get pregnant, or have no desire to be pregnant, you should be treated as if you are about to become so, or want to become so, or are so already.

Up next: mandatory insertion of your husband’s seed, or your pre-husband if you don’t have one.